Men’s Enmeshment Impact Survey

Developed by Kenneth Adams, Ph.D.

Please keep in mind that your score is not an absolute measure of enmeshment. The score is based on a series of items that have been observed in the population reporting enmeshment with a parent but could be present for other reasons as well. In general, the higher the score the more likely enmeshment could be a problem. This survey is best used as a starting point of discussion with a therapist to determine if enmeshment is present.

Place a mark in the circle on the right that corresponds with how you feel about each statement. If your mother is deceased, answer the question that best reflects what was true when she was alive.

Men’s Enmeshment Impact Survey*

	Strongly disagree	Disagree	Neutral	Agree	Strongly agree
	Strongly disagree	Disagree	Neutral	Agree	Strongly agree
I look to take care of others in relationships too often.
I find relationships burdensome.
I often feel engulfed, smothered, or trapped when I am in relationships.
I get overly anxious when I am separated from my partner or spouse.
I put my mother’ needs ahead of my spouse or partner.
I am preoccupied with my mother’s needs.
My mothers’ involvement in my life is a source of conflict for my spouse or partner.
I consult my mother about important matters.
I share personal and intimate details of my life with my mother.
After a conversation with my mother, I often feel guilty.
I struggle to make decisions that are good for me.
I have difficulty expressing my preferences with others.
I struggle to make commitments that are good for me.
I don’t express much passion sexually.
I find it difficult to be sexual in committed relationships.
I act out sexually outside of my implicit and explicit commitments of fidelity in relationships.
I have a history of falling in love easily.
I declare loyalty to others even when it is not in my best interest to do so.
I find it difficult to set boundaries with others.
I cannot stand up to my mother.
I am distant from my father.
I let others intrude or take advantage of me.
I feel guilty when I want to express my wants or needs.
I put others needs ahead of my own too often.
I have a hard time making simple decisions that others seem to do readily.
I often feel unsure of myself.
I am frequently ambivalent regarding where I stand on important matters.
I find it difficult to follow my heart’s desires regarding important interests.
I am more of a follower than a leader.
Getting validation from others is too important at times.

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Your Score

To understand where you are on the spectrum of impact, please enter your contact information below so that we can email you the full report.

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Men’s Enmeshment Impact Survey