Revised and Updated by Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D.
Excerpt from book – Covert incest occurs when a child becomes the object of a parent’s affection, love, passion, and preoccupation. The parent, motivated by the loneliness and emptiness created by a chronically troubled marriage or relationship, makes the child a surrogate partner. The boundary between caring and incestuous love is crossed when the child exists to meet the needs of the parent rather than the child.
Reviews (from Amazon)
Wow., October 5, 2000
Reviewer: A reader – This is the single most powerful book I have read on what it means to grow up in a household where the parents are not fulfilling each other’s emotional and physical needs. The children become the receptacle for all the frustrated sexual energy the parents are experiencing, even if they are not talking about it. This is exactly what happened to me — the oldest daughter of an alcoholic and his angry wife. Finally, I understand the “ickiness” (the author’s word) I still feel every time I am required to spend time with my parents.
This book talks about the specific, sexualized emotions you experience while growing up in a dysfunctional home that don’t get articulated because it’s too squeamish to talk about them. And yet, it does so in a very safe and comforting manner. It’s like getting the hug and shoulder to lean on that you never got growing up.
Facing the truth of being emotionally used by one’s parents is a sobering experience — but oh what a relief to have these feelings explained and validated. I feel extraordinarily relieved to have read this book — it gives me new hope for my present, my future and my marriage.
Must reading, especially for addicts, February 24, 2006
Reviewer: A reader – This book certainly portrays the difficulties and impact on children haunted by covert incest. At 55 yrs. old, my life could have been soooo… much better if I had been diagnosed previously. Thanks very much to my therapist (3rd one I worked with) for identifying this issue for me. Amazon’s search engine recommended this book immediately and I devoured its message. The 5th chapter will be presented at our area’s Spring Retreat of S.A.A. this April. This book should be a must!!