Question: Do MEM change after the mother passes away? I'd like to think so as I am recently going through a horrible divorce with a MEM who couldn't stand being away from his mother. His mother never came to our wedding nor meet our child until after my husband decided he didn't want to be married without having his mother there. The mother gave her son an ultimatum if she was to be in his life. He seemed OK for a short while but then he felt loyal to his mother in the end. I often wonder what it will take for him to realize what is happening in his life. We are all products of our upbringing, so what will really change him, or will anything? I am conscientitious that our 3 year old son will not grow up the same way or be influenced by was seems like a sick and incestual relationship between my ex husband and his widowed mother.
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Answer: Yes, a MEM can experince some freedom after his mother dies. However, the long term ingrained patterns require more effort to break. Some, MEM do not change even in the face of repeated consequences. Guilt and feelings of disloyality can overwhelm. You might try to approach him with a caring request that he seek counseling to help him break free for himself.
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Asked: 05-31-08 Answered: 08-04-08
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